Is Your Spouse Stonewalling the Divorce?
Divorce is always challenging. However, it can take on a unique level of difficulty if one spouse refuses to appropriately engage in the process. This might look like refusing to communicate, refusing to appropriately respond to filings, going back and forth with what they commit to, etc.
A stonewalling spouse can be frustrating – but they cannot ultimately foil a divorce if the other party is intent on pursuing the separation. An experienced divorce attorney at Bradley S. Sandler can help guide you through how to manage your divorce process, even if one party is stonewalling. This article will discuss some general issues to keep in mind if you have a spouse who is resistant to the divorce process. For specific advice, contact an experienced attorney at the Bradley S. Sandler Law Firm.
Remember: It Will Work Itself Out
No one can stop a divorce if one spouse is determined to separate. Both sides of the equation make sense: it is reasonable that one spouse might be reluctant to let the marriage go. It is reasonable that one spouse is very ready to separate and is frustrated that the process is not moving faster.
What both spouses need to understand is that when one party “asks” for a divorce, this is not an optional thing. While both parties are free to change their minds and stay in the marriage, if one partner wants a divorce, then the California court system is not going to require that person to stay in the marriage, trapped against their will. In fact, ignoring divorce proceedings is a bad strategy indeed, as it can lead to a default divorce.
Default Divorce
As stated above, California will not allow one spouse to “trap” the other in the marriage. If one seeks a divorce, it cannot be avoided by one spouse trying to bury their head in the sand and not participate.
California law has developed to allow for “default” divorce. A default divorce can be granted, in certain circumstances, if one spouse is served with divorce papers but refuses to respond to the divorce petition.
A default divorce will generally grant the petitioner whatever it is they requested in their divorce petition. This makes sense because, as established above, the court has to process a divorce petition if it is pursued by one spouse. Without the other spouse’s response or input, there is very little for the court to do but grant the petition it has in front of it. There is more nuance to this, of course, but it is, by and large, a terrible idea to think that ignoring a divorce petition will land you in a better position than if you respond appropriately. The court is not interested in rewarding stonewalling behavior that frustrates the aim and purpose of the law being carried out.
Strategies for Dealing with Stonewallers
For those stuck in the midst of divorce proceedings with a non-cooperative, estranged spouse, there are some strategies you can implement to help ensure your proceedings stay on track. An experienced divorce attorney can help you to:
- Maintain Clear Communication
Communicate in writing so it can be documented and become part of the record. This can include e-mail and texts. This can serve the dual purpose of also taking away some of the emotional charge that might exist in face-to-face communication. Perhaps your spouse is overwhelmed, and written communication can help get things in gear.
- Set Expectations
This goes along with clear communication. Communicating your goals and priorities can help keep you both on track and ensure you are not fighting over things that serve no importance to either of you. Specifics about non-negotiables can help, as well as things that you are willing to compromise on.
Contact Bradley S. Sandler
An experienced divorce attorney at the law office of Bradley S. Sandler can help you navigate through any complexity you encounter in your own divorce journey. Contact our office today to speak with experienced legal counsel.
Sources
https://courts.ca.gov/sites/default/files/courts/default/2024-11/fl120.pdf